Three days in a disused lighthouse with a dead sea-gull and a talking rock. IT WAS NOT MEANT TO BE LIKE THIS!

Dad’s just back from Afghanistan, stressed and uptight. Mum wants everything to be nice but it’s definitely not. We’re stuck in a grey cottage miles from the nearest doughnut. Dad’s planning on taking me for an army style run and my phone’s out of credit. My life absolutely can’t get any worse.